That’s
a real head-scratcher: we don=t
have any children personally, and nor are there any tots in what might be
termed our neighborhood (we live in the middle, or at least on the edge, of
nowhere) who could carelessly have left such a volume in or near the
aforementioned facilities. Having read all the cartoon books cover to cover
several dozen times and not feeling particularly receptive to discovering
cunning new ways to arrange Stargazer lilies in a cut glass vase, I opted to
thumb through the anomalous codex.
As
I read through the respectable collection of activities suggested for keeping a
dozen squealing young girls entertained while scout leader tries desperately to
think of some excuse to have next week's meeting at someone else's house, I
couldn’t help but think that the games themselves were hopelessly outdatedBnot surprising since the
copyright dates for the book were 1949 and 1969. In the interest of
contributing to more topical living rooms and backyards everywhere, I have
decided to modernize a few of the most hopelessly antiquated examples.
Math Mirth
Two goals are marked out, several
yards apart, representing the Aboardroom@ and the Afederal courthouse.@ One player is the Aprosecutor,@ another the ACEO,@ and the rest the Aaccountants.@ The CEO arranges her accountants in a compact group, then leads them
close to the courthouse and asks, AIf
you please, Ms. Prosecutor, have you any indictments?@ If the Prosecutor replies, Ano,@ the accountants are safe and
free to hide capital gains or otherwise doctor the books.
After a few moments the CEO once again stands between the prosecutor and
accountants and asks her question. If the answer is, Ayes,@ they must run to the boardroom.
The prosecutor chases them. If any of the accountants are caught, they are
taken to the courthouse and Aincarcerated@ and the next round begins. When all the accountants are
doing time or if the CEO herself is caught, the game is over.
Cheerleader Moms
Two girls are chosen as Amoms,@ the rest are Acheerleaders.@ Each mom secretly picks a
cheerleader as her own and using ping-pong balls tries to Atake out@ all the other cheerleaders by
hitting each of them with a ball without getting caught. If a mom is seen
throwing the ball by the other mom, she is Aout@ and the game starts again. Play
continues until one mom takes out all the cheerleaders but her own or there
aren’t enough girls left to carry on. No one actually wins.
Migration
One girl is chosen for each of
the following Acivilization@ roles: ASUV,@ AMega-Mart, AUrban Sprawl,@ and ASlash and Burn.@ The rest are Aendangered species@ and represent the Aenvironment.@
Two Ahabitats@ are marked out, approximately
ten yards apart. Half the endangered species start at one habitat, the
remaining half at the one opposite, while the civilization girls stand midway
between the habitats. The endangered species must run to the opposite habitat
without being tagged by civilization. Tagged species are Aextinct@ and leave the game. The
surviving species must then return to their original habitat, once again
without being tagged. If any of the endangered species makes the round trip untagged, the environment wins.
Otherwise civilization wins and everyone dies from some super pandemic caused
by a lack of genetic diversity. Bummer.
War on Terror
All the girls get together in a
huddle and accuse each other of hating democracy until one of them is labeled a
Aterrorist@ and held in solitary confinement
without benefit of counsel; i.e., she is out of the game. The process repeats
until only one girl is left. She declares Amission
accomplished@ and lobbies Congress to have the
22nd Amendment repealed so she can stay in office for life. At that
point the game is over and everyone else emigrates.
I should probably stop before I
get bitter.
No comments:
Post a Comment